Pointless right? Attempting to clean up something that is undeniably the dirtiest thing ever. I bring this up for one simple reason. The title was just something I thought was clever and will have nothing to do with the post, thought I would just lead you on as I sit here listening to country music and waiting for a call from someone in town to perhaps meet up. But as it stands life ticks away happily with no way to slow down to quickly accomplish a short term goal. Maybe this weekend is what has me thinking so distinctively.
Friday night I had went over to my buddy's house to have a few beer and relax and play a few games of beer pong before I had to go to work early in the morning. Instead of having some beers I decided to take the biggest hit of weed I had ever indulged in my life and at that time had to see the bleak truth that I was a lightweight with weed. Which sometimes is not a bad thing but considered in this case. As I stumbled around trying to see straight I had decided to leave for recreational reasons and at my own expense. The drive felt as if it was eight hours long with every small turn taking a brief eternity to get through. Fuck that, never again. That is a lie, I will smoke weed one more time at least in my life, just not such a big hit.
Last night had to be one of the funner nights I have had in some time. At the same house we were having more people over then just the very few we had the night before. Beer, weed, girls, it was a legit party. We wanted to go eat horribly bad so I had decided to take my car, which I had just fixed, and go down the street to eat. With my luck and Carlton in the car we went ahead and broke down right in the Eternal parking lot and could not restart the giant piece of shit car I have. I worked on it for several minutes before our ride had come back with a car full of people. It is actually still there to this very minute. Way to lazy to go fix it even though I had the energy to go to the gym today.
To bring up a more ironic but heart warming story in a sort I had a surprising Friday off of the brief time I was on Myspace. A girl who I had added what seems to be maybe a year ago that I had never talked to but always tried had written me a picture comment on maybe the dumbest picture of me stating that I looked half way decent. I took that time to make yet another try to talk to her and this time it worked. I was very happy that I was able to get a number, so there was the bright point except for the fact that I truly feel she is tougher then me and may beat my ass if I said the wrong thing. But you know how it goes.
Not knowing what to do with the car though. I need my dad to help me co-sign for a new truck. It's that simple and it's the only option we have at this point. I need a car to get to work and I am not spending any more money on this damn car that will not run. I just had to get that out of my system.
I don't really have much to write about, maybe the fact that last night at the party a kid named Jameson decided to tell me I would regret my tattoo. Little does he know, he is going to be the fat drunk guy who posts up in bars in Reno his whole life wearing his lettermans jacket from SSHS and trying to call out all the people who didn't excel in high school but are much better off then he is for the sole fact that high school was the only time he was thought of as a cool guy. I like Jameson, but not enough to not put him on blast.
Also Justin Burke wanted a shout out on here once more so I said I would, as well as write a book with "JB" as the title. That should make for a top-seller. If ever on Myspace, check out his hip hop profile. He is one hell of a rapper and has a lot of talent and can use support from anyone who appreciates music. I listen to him, so he is obviously good because I only listen to the cool shit since I am the collest mother fucker alive.
Time for me to get off of this and go see what I am doing tonight. Maybe just sleep....? Hell no, sleeping is for sober people.
With Love, Steve.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Let Me Go Ahead And Set Things Straight.
Men for the most part in this damn country look for one fucking thing, which is a good lay. Things change and people mature and they get married and have children and do their own thing and completely forget about the life they had before hand.
I have forgotten about that life, I want something now.
May sound a little gay but going out every night and getting drunk off my ass and picking up random chicks gets old as you get old yourself. A club every now and then is fun but not all the time. I need something to change.
Varun had brought it to my attention that the thing I was looking for to solve this problem was indeed a girlfriend. Thinking about it now he is correct. I had met one girl in the last year and had dated her only after my Grandfather had passed away out of self misery, waste of my time. It has been a year and now looking forward, a girl is what I want and need.
I thought recently I had met someone who may have been on that level and seemingly interested in whatever I had to offer just outside of the fact that she thought I looked good. She was a very nice girl, great sense of humor, talkative and not the shy type that really irritates me, highly mature for being her age, extremely good looking. Seemed like something I could keep my eye on and see what would happen with the situation.
As it went on about a week of actually thinking about it and deciding that this is something I would like to work at, I had made the brutal mistake to myself of jumping into the deep end without a life jacket and getting swirled into this meaningless emotion that I really had no reason to have.
Just thinking about life in my future has always given me some sort of escape from the present reality of working all the time and doing whatever I do in my spare time. All the time just thinking about sitting in my own house with maybe a roommate or two and grilling some good on my barbecue outside on the porch while my friends are inside drinking a beer and watching the football game on Sunday's and Monday nights. Having my dog just sitting in the corner minding her own as I wash my truck in the front yard so it is shining. Life is perfect for me in the long run and I just have to get there to make sure that it can all happen for me which I have no doubt in my mind that it will.
But there has always been meaningless pieces added onto this imagination to try and fill the holes that I had always felt in it. But what was missing was not a material item or something money can buy. It was a girl, a girl that wanted to be cared for a respected and in return give the same back. Just someone who when I get home from work and she gets home from work or school or wherever she just wants to see me and spend some time. On a Friday night we don't have to go out all the time, we can just sit on the couch and get close and watch a movie and have fun with eachothers company. Someone who I can trust, who will go be her own person and goes out with her friends and who trusts me when I go hang out with my boys. Doesn't want to fight to get attention and can just be straight up with me on whatever is on her mind so that we can fix whatever is going on.
All in all...A girl just to call my own.
Seems like a legit girl such as that can't just walk right into your life anymore. Things get difficult especially for me. The fact that I want to start something and be able to be close to a girl and get to know her and she wants to get to know me is making it a little bit more difficult because all they ever want is to be putting men in the friend zone first.
Friend Zone is only achievable by people who have absolutly no interest in eachother at all. As many people that I have talked to about writing this book that I am trying to do. One of the top ways too know that something is not going to work is when the girls says "Let's just be friends and we will see what happens." Well I can already tell you the ending result maybe 9 out of 10 times for that one, and it's not going to be what you were hoping for. Everyone gives off a first impression that not even they can control that can officially alter the way the female is going to feel about you. It can be hair or eye color, tone of voice, the way your feet land when you walk. Stupid shit like that is what is always noticeable.
The hardest part about all this is that in the end, you have nobody to blame. Not even yourself. It is just a trick played on you to let you know that there is not one perfect person to exist and if your ego tells you differently then you should be banished to having to marry a obese women and have 6537826523 children with her who all eat just as much as her and don't leave you more then just a crumb.
When a guy comes around who has that swagger and that gift of himself that he wants to give to you then I urge you too look more into it. This isn't for me anymore, this is for every guy going through this. Respect what she wants, weather it be time or to be friends first and figure it out afterwards if it is something you truly need with her. There are plenty of good women out there for everyone. I sit here telling you this because if you truly do think you can make something work with a girl and want too see if it is something long term then you should be able to hold on unlike myself who had given in way too quickly for my own good.
Just let it all be now, end it all before something breaks and someone hurts themselves.
This will be an exact chapter in the book I write. Maybe one of the first couple because I feel this is a very important part to meeting a girl.
I am a horrible guy in this part, I can treat the girl with respect and be her best friend but the starting of the relationship and getting to know them and waiting for that day is what I struggle at.
Something that I will always remember my Grandfather preaching to me was will power.
The ability to restrain yourself from doing something that can harm you in the past, present, or future.
So therefore since it is something I have trouble possessing, The name if the chapter will be "Will Power".
Thanks for reading.
Girl who I send this too to read. Don't be offended or anything because like I say up there, it's me not you....Ironic that you hear that in movies a lot.
Anyways I need to figure this out and see what I can do to fix this problem and see if I am still worth this girl's time of day.
With Love, Steve.
I have forgotten about that life, I want something now.
May sound a little gay but going out every night and getting drunk off my ass and picking up random chicks gets old as you get old yourself. A club every now and then is fun but not all the time. I need something to change.
Varun had brought it to my attention that the thing I was looking for to solve this problem was indeed a girlfriend. Thinking about it now he is correct. I had met one girl in the last year and had dated her only after my Grandfather had passed away out of self misery, waste of my time. It has been a year and now looking forward, a girl is what I want and need.
I thought recently I had met someone who may have been on that level and seemingly interested in whatever I had to offer just outside of the fact that she thought I looked good. She was a very nice girl, great sense of humor, talkative and not the shy type that really irritates me, highly mature for being her age, extremely good looking. Seemed like something I could keep my eye on and see what would happen with the situation.
As it went on about a week of actually thinking about it and deciding that this is something I would like to work at, I had made the brutal mistake to myself of jumping into the deep end without a life jacket and getting swirled into this meaningless emotion that I really had no reason to have.
Just thinking about life in my future has always given me some sort of escape from the present reality of working all the time and doing whatever I do in my spare time. All the time just thinking about sitting in my own house with maybe a roommate or two and grilling some good on my barbecue outside on the porch while my friends are inside drinking a beer and watching the football game on Sunday's and Monday nights. Having my dog just sitting in the corner minding her own as I wash my truck in the front yard so it is shining. Life is perfect for me in the long run and I just have to get there to make sure that it can all happen for me which I have no doubt in my mind that it will.
But there has always been meaningless pieces added onto this imagination to try and fill the holes that I had always felt in it. But what was missing was not a material item or something money can buy. It was a girl, a girl that wanted to be cared for a respected and in return give the same back. Just someone who when I get home from work and she gets home from work or school or wherever she just wants to see me and spend some time. On a Friday night we don't have to go out all the time, we can just sit on the couch and get close and watch a movie and have fun with eachothers company. Someone who I can trust, who will go be her own person and goes out with her friends and who trusts me when I go hang out with my boys. Doesn't want to fight to get attention and can just be straight up with me on whatever is on her mind so that we can fix whatever is going on.
All in all...A girl just to call my own.
Seems like a legit girl such as that can't just walk right into your life anymore. Things get difficult especially for me. The fact that I want to start something and be able to be close to a girl and get to know her and she wants to get to know me is making it a little bit more difficult because all they ever want is to be putting men in the friend zone first.
Friend Zone is only achievable by people who have absolutly no interest in eachother at all. As many people that I have talked to about writing this book that I am trying to do. One of the top ways too know that something is not going to work is when the girls says "Let's just be friends and we will see what happens." Well I can already tell you the ending result maybe 9 out of 10 times for that one, and it's not going to be what you were hoping for. Everyone gives off a first impression that not even they can control that can officially alter the way the female is going to feel about you. It can be hair or eye color, tone of voice, the way your feet land when you walk. Stupid shit like that is what is always noticeable.
The hardest part about all this is that in the end, you have nobody to blame. Not even yourself. It is just a trick played on you to let you know that there is not one perfect person to exist and if your ego tells you differently then you should be banished to having to marry a obese women and have 6537826523 children with her who all eat just as much as her and don't leave you more then just a crumb.
When a guy comes around who has that swagger and that gift of himself that he wants to give to you then I urge you too look more into it. This isn't for me anymore, this is for every guy going through this. Respect what she wants, weather it be time or to be friends first and figure it out afterwards if it is something you truly need with her. There are plenty of good women out there for everyone. I sit here telling you this because if you truly do think you can make something work with a girl and want too see if it is something long term then you should be able to hold on unlike myself who had given in way too quickly for my own good.
Just let it all be now, end it all before something breaks and someone hurts themselves.
This will be an exact chapter in the book I write. Maybe one of the first couple because I feel this is a very important part to meeting a girl.
I am a horrible guy in this part, I can treat the girl with respect and be her best friend but the starting of the relationship and getting to know them and waiting for that day is what I struggle at.
Something that I will always remember my Grandfather preaching to me was will power.
The ability to restrain yourself from doing something that can harm you in the past, present, or future.
So therefore since it is something I have trouble possessing, The name if the chapter will be "Will Power".
Thanks for reading.
Girl who I send this too to read. Don't be offended or anything because like I say up there, it's me not you....Ironic that you hear that in movies a lot.
Anyways I need to figure this out and see what I can do to fix this problem and see if I am still worth this girl's time of day.
With Love, Steve.
Redemption Could Be Ever So Sweet.
If only redemption was something attainable from my position. I had a rough week and maybe a rougher one coming up. A lot of confusion and disclosure brings discomfort as the most anticipated word in the back of my mind. Seeing my way through things like this is basically an instinct to do because you really have nowhere to run and continue success. Let's just go ahead and recap what had gone on through this weekend at least.
Last night was the night I had all my fun just bottled into a few hours and a lot of beers. Going to King Buffet with Varun and Chris, we ordered the all you can eat to get our, what Varun would say, "Fat Boy" on. At first glance there was not much food there and it remained that way and forever established in my mind and the weakest buffet of all time. One of the more popular oriental dishes is Lo Mein. We had went to that part of the counter to get some and waited in a line as a boy about the age of eight had started scooping the Lo Mein onto his already toppeling plate of food. Before Varun had a chance to get any Lo Mein the child had gone ahead and emptied out the few pounds that there was left. Varun gave a stare of anger and disgust and the overweight child had walked back to top off his Lo Mein with osme of the soft serve ice cream they have there. The next plate I had I too had a desire for some of the Lo Mein, unfortunatly for me the obese child had gone ahead and helped himself to all of the new Lo Mein that was just put out there again, my quest for it was over. We had gone ahead and ate the rest of the time and were laughing at things Varun had to say to Chris and I. We had left to go to Round Table to meet up with Varun's brother to discuss on who had to pick up his mother that evening. That's when we had established the plan for the night. We went and picked up Varun's mom and hung around at his house for awhile before departing to Chris's house to go ahead and get drunk and party and do whatever we wanted to do. Playing beer pong was a nice relaxing thing while seemingly inhaling beer after beer. We had conversations and made jokes and made fun of the one girl there who is hooked on Varun's nuts like a fucking squirrel. She is highly annoying and not worth the effort to be nice too so I go ahead and make fun of her with every chance I get hoping she will get the hint and know that we do not want her hanging around with us. Unfortunatly she is one of the retarded girls that Reno has produced and isn't smart enough to catch the hint. Two other guys there, one named Chris and the other Maureece also known as Rips, had tried to bag on me and Varun just on random things. If you party with us you know that we don't allow people to make fun of us.
Varun and I had stood up and began making fun of them in every possible way we could, baffeling them whenever they thought they had potentially insulted us. The kill shot was making fun of the name "Rips" portraying that the only thing they rip would be eachother's buttholes. After that we all decided we should leave so I carefully drove my drunk ass home, not visibly disturbed that the night did not feel complete.
I had called the girl I worked with who thinks I am highly attractive to hang out that night but she intended to not call me back so I had let it go. This morning however I had heard my country music ringtone indicatina a girl was calling me wake me up. I looked and saw the picture and name of who was calling me but I neglected to answer due to the extremity of the earliness in the morning. 15 minutes later however I went ahead and gave her a call back.
Somewhat of a flirtaicious conflict between the two of us we had ended the conversation and I went on with my day just looking at trucks and houses on the internet hoping to have those of my own one of these days soon in the future, maybe even a girlfriend to go along with that duo of product. Varun says he thinks I am at that point where a girl in my life is what I need and I can't argue with that logic at this point.
However great things come to people who wait so I think I will just play along with whatever comes my way and go from there. Just getting all my bills paid helps me keep my mind off anything else stressful in the situations I get presented.
I think now I will be going and watching the news or something like that, maybe have a beer or two. Deffinantly though this next Saturday I was to go get drunk or at least party it up somewhere with somebody. If you want to do so then just let me know or find me on myspace or something.
With Love, Steve.
Last night was the night I had all my fun just bottled into a few hours and a lot of beers. Going to King Buffet with Varun and Chris, we ordered the all you can eat to get our, what Varun would say, "Fat Boy" on. At first glance there was not much food there and it remained that way and forever established in my mind and the weakest buffet of all time. One of the more popular oriental dishes is Lo Mein. We had went to that part of the counter to get some and waited in a line as a boy about the age of eight had started scooping the Lo Mein onto his already toppeling plate of food. Before Varun had a chance to get any Lo Mein the child had gone ahead and emptied out the few pounds that there was left. Varun gave a stare of anger and disgust and the overweight child had walked back to top off his Lo Mein with osme of the soft serve ice cream they have there. The next plate I had I too had a desire for some of the Lo Mein, unfortunatly for me the obese child had gone ahead and helped himself to all of the new Lo Mein that was just put out there again, my quest for it was over. We had gone ahead and ate the rest of the time and were laughing at things Varun had to say to Chris and I. We had left to go to Round Table to meet up with Varun's brother to discuss on who had to pick up his mother that evening. That's when we had established the plan for the night. We went and picked up Varun's mom and hung around at his house for awhile before departing to Chris's house to go ahead and get drunk and party and do whatever we wanted to do. Playing beer pong was a nice relaxing thing while seemingly inhaling beer after beer. We had conversations and made jokes and made fun of the one girl there who is hooked on Varun's nuts like a fucking squirrel. She is highly annoying and not worth the effort to be nice too so I go ahead and make fun of her with every chance I get hoping she will get the hint and know that we do not want her hanging around with us. Unfortunatly she is one of the retarded girls that Reno has produced and isn't smart enough to catch the hint. Two other guys there, one named Chris and the other Maureece also known as Rips, had tried to bag on me and Varun just on random things. If you party with us you know that we don't allow people to make fun of us.
Varun and I had stood up and began making fun of them in every possible way we could, baffeling them whenever they thought they had potentially insulted us. The kill shot was making fun of the name "Rips" portraying that the only thing they rip would be eachother's buttholes. After that we all decided we should leave so I carefully drove my drunk ass home, not visibly disturbed that the night did not feel complete.
I had called the girl I worked with who thinks I am highly attractive to hang out that night but she intended to not call me back so I had let it go. This morning however I had heard my country music ringtone indicatina a girl was calling me wake me up. I looked and saw the picture and name of who was calling me but I neglected to answer due to the extremity of the earliness in the morning. 15 minutes later however I went ahead and gave her a call back.
Somewhat of a flirtaicious conflict between the two of us we had ended the conversation and I went on with my day just looking at trucks and houses on the internet hoping to have those of my own one of these days soon in the future, maybe even a girlfriend to go along with that duo of product. Varun says he thinks I am at that point where a girl in my life is what I need and I can't argue with that logic at this point.
However great things come to people who wait so I think I will just play along with whatever comes my way and go from there. Just getting all my bills paid helps me keep my mind off anything else stressful in the situations I get presented.
I think now I will be going and watching the news or something like that, maybe have a beer or two. Deffinantly though this next Saturday I was to go get drunk or at least party it up somewhere with somebody. If you want to do so then just let me know or find me on myspace or something.
With Love, Steve.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Precautious Downfalls Of A Relationship For A Man.
During the course of the last few weeks I have somewhat studied behaviors of relationships between myself or any other male and the female companions they most closely share a bond with. By establishing the obvious that women are for the most part blood sucking fiends who find more pleasure in hurt and sorrow of the so called "Abomination" of a man then treating them with respect and love. For the women who read this article I can say one thing before you slowly lose interest thinking it is just yet another article on how you make life suck. This one may actually help men find out what makes you happy.
Long story short people love attention. They love being showered with love and praise from their peers and getting whatever they can out of life before it abruptly ends in dismal fashion. When it comes to a man looking for a relationship there are several things that can make him stay around and not know what is good for him. One, and maybe the most obvious, is how well she works it in the bedroom. The second is how faithful she is too him and how much she can establish and build and foremost keep his trust. Lastly, the man does not want to hear you bitch and talk about yourself or your damn shoes or how your fucking nail decided to break when you grind it on the cement because you fell over from carrying too many Gucci hand bags around in your big ass Zephyr crystal status purse that you bought with your boyfriend's money because he is a sucker and a poor excuse for a man. Also he does not want to be part of the stereotypical husband that comes home early.
Now in all this a man does what he has to do to keep his women happy. He is there for her on a consistent basis to tend to her every need. He makes her laugh when he can and surprise her when it is unexpected. Don't get me wrong though, there are some bad people out there who get sick pleasure out of breaking hearts, I for one am not one of those people. But guys, at what cost can we continue to do such things as taking women to dinner and providing for them and expressing comfort in sharing our own feelings with them that you can't share with me because I will assuredly laugh at you as I sit on my bar stool drinking yet again another beer. The cost is simple, you make women the leading cause for heart breaks in the world. Women decide that a man is no good anymore when he can't hold his feelings to himself anymore and just care about her. Ladies I hate to break it to you but this is a true fact in life, men who give their all usually in the end fall.
Women have a very particular way of choosing men. Looks are the first thing that ever catch their eye, not personality. If you are some hefty set dude with acne that looks like a diagram of space on your face and they can smell the bacon deodorant from about 10 feet away, you are not going to get many attractive women if you get any at all. When a girl thinks your hot, which I sometimes get that reaction, they will proceed to give you stares that will make you pay attention to them and determine if you think that they are attractive or not. If your lucky then they will be gorgeous and you can take advantage of the fact they want you from the beginning. After the initiated conversation is presented they will take the time to get to know you just for the simple fact you are attractive and if they have the average IQ of a 6 month old blond that was born from Anna Nicole Smith then they will realize weather of not you are a waste of time or a good guy. Now this will be going uphill for approximately a week or so before it all comes crashing down in a blistering ball of fire and disappointment.
Women seem to get the feeling that they want something but change their mind after you have gone too far with it. Just recently on the phone actually I was told by a girl I work with that she likes attention from a guy when she is with him, she obviously did not get the hint on that one. Today at work I had tried the experiment on this girl, who I do think is a great girl worthy of my efforts to get to know, too see if she was in fact the same as all women in the world. I'll spoil it and tell you I was right. I had not talked to her the day before, we know the drill, she has to get over some dude before she talks to me, we have all heard it before, so until then you are stuck in "Friend Zone". I ignored her at the first part until she had written me on when my breaks were. Instead of replying the appropriate answer's I had called her a jerk and that she was ignoring me and she proceeded to call me moody. Basically the whole time I was complaining about how she did not give me any attention and that I wanted to be with her or talk to her and get to that point sooner rather then later but she was all resilient. And for that reason it began proving my point that since I wanted the attention I had gotten annoying to her and frustrated her by telling her things that were way too overly dramatic. By the end I had told her that I did not care and that when she wanted to hang out she could call me and I would stay out of her way until she got all of her shit straight. That was the brief turning point that really implied my success on the day besides having high numbers at work. She wrote me saying she wanted to hang out soon and that she still wanted to be friends and all that stuff and that we should see where it goes, basically saying she was interested yet again because I had decided to let it go and not give her that attention. But then I reversed it once more, I began doing the complaining thing again saying I wanted to be with her and that she was more then just some girl, which she kind of is I suppose, but emphasized it much more then just that. She again lost interest and that was the end of the day until I had the text saying "Why are you ignoring me?" I knew I would tell her what happened and why I did it for writing reasons and she seems fairly understanding so far.
Theory goes that women don't know what they want, and when they get what they think they wan then they want something completely opposite. Sitting at the bar today after work having some beers with the bartender that I know he was clearly upset that him and his girl were having problems. He was writing her novels for text messages expressing exactly how he feels about her and why he is the one she should be happy with. I gave him my advice in telling her to have her space and when she is ready she can come talk to you and go from there and leave it at that. About one hour after sending that message she was texting him back asking if he was over her for all of this and he simply replied "No.". A very simple answer for a girl who wanted yet another novel text message so she could have the upper hand. Putting it in a nutshell you can't give your all the the one who has you by the balls.
For my situation, I tend to play this one by ear. Spend time with this girl and have fun and let her see who I really am and one day it will work out for the best and she will see what a great guy I am and I will know about what kind of girl she is and like there was never a brief space in between it will work out. Most guys have this problem of going over the top for a girl when all she truly ever needs is the man to just be his own relaxed self and don't blow his top. Instead of buying her something everyday because you love her so much, just surprise her every so often just enough to the point where she knows you have her in your heart in mind all the time.
Ask for the men who have the opposite problems in which the girls drive them crazy. Their really is nothing we can do. Women were born with immaculate ear drums that seem to be able to block out men talking about something they enjoy or when we have the brief chance while they catch their breath to get in a word. It's truly incredible and may be able to be harnessed as a military weapon someday. Women don't understand that a guy wants a girl to just let him know he is important and she wants him around. Doesn't have to be all the time, but it is tiring when the guy makes all the effort to communicat with the girl all the time and has to make it work by himself, we are people not horses. The most comon solution is putting out and making a night out of it and just rocking his sheets until he sleeps through his alarm clock because he has no more energy after rocking your world the previous night. But outside of that there is nothing wrong with when he wakes up you are laying there with him and letting him know how much fun you had and that you care about him to the point that you would put yourself through such torturous pleasure that you enjoy for him.
I feel as if pitching this idea for my story will take more stories from the inards of a heart that is broken, mended, forever taken, and even six feet deep due to the extent of the misery that had happened. Not one person in this whole earth deserves to have someone they care about destroy their heart in the ways that I have seen before. Staying true to yourself and helping when you can with others which is your own way of life is all it takes. There is nothing more perfect in this world too me then a girl that I can enjoy having around all the time and whom I can be myself around and never have to change a thing unless I choose to do it myself. Everyone has a person out their who can do that for them and for those who suffer through times likes these there is still hope for you because their is plenty of fish in the sea. More to be added on a later time for this.
With Love, Steve.
Long story short people love attention. They love being showered with love and praise from their peers and getting whatever they can out of life before it abruptly ends in dismal fashion. When it comes to a man looking for a relationship there are several things that can make him stay around and not know what is good for him. One, and maybe the most obvious, is how well she works it in the bedroom. The second is how faithful she is too him and how much she can establish and build and foremost keep his trust. Lastly, the man does not want to hear you bitch and talk about yourself or your damn shoes or how your fucking nail decided to break when you grind it on the cement because you fell over from carrying too many Gucci hand bags around in your big ass Zephyr crystal status purse that you bought with your boyfriend's money because he is a sucker and a poor excuse for a man. Also he does not want to be part of the stereotypical husband that comes home early.
Now in all this a man does what he has to do to keep his women happy. He is there for her on a consistent basis to tend to her every need. He makes her laugh when he can and surprise her when it is unexpected. Don't get me wrong though, there are some bad people out there who get sick pleasure out of breaking hearts, I for one am not one of those people. But guys, at what cost can we continue to do such things as taking women to dinner and providing for them and expressing comfort in sharing our own feelings with them that you can't share with me because I will assuredly laugh at you as I sit on my bar stool drinking yet again another beer. The cost is simple, you make women the leading cause for heart breaks in the world. Women decide that a man is no good anymore when he can't hold his feelings to himself anymore and just care about her. Ladies I hate to break it to you but this is a true fact in life, men who give their all usually in the end fall.
Women have a very particular way of choosing men. Looks are the first thing that ever catch their eye, not personality. If you are some hefty set dude with acne that looks like a diagram of space on your face and they can smell the bacon deodorant from about 10 feet away, you are not going to get many attractive women if you get any at all. When a girl thinks your hot, which I sometimes get that reaction, they will proceed to give you stares that will make you pay attention to them and determine if you think that they are attractive or not. If your lucky then they will be gorgeous and you can take advantage of the fact they want you from the beginning. After the initiated conversation is presented they will take the time to get to know you just for the simple fact you are attractive and if they have the average IQ of a 6 month old blond that was born from Anna Nicole Smith then they will realize weather of not you are a waste of time or a good guy. Now this will be going uphill for approximately a week or so before it all comes crashing down in a blistering ball of fire and disappointment.
Women seem to get the feeling that they want something but change their mind after you have gone too far with it. Just recently on the phone actually I was told by a girl I work with that she likes attention from a guy when she is with him, she obviously did not get the hint on that one. Today at work I had tried the experiment on this girl, who I do think is a great girl worthy of my efforts to get to know, too see if she was in fact the same as all women in the world. I'll spoil it and tell you I was right. I had not talked to her the day before, we know the drill, she has to get over some dude before she talks to me, we have all heard it before, so until then you are stuck in "Friend Zone". I ignored her at the first part until she had written me on when my breaks were. Instead of replying the appropriate answer's I had called her a jerk and that she was ignoring me and she proceeded to call me moody. Basically the whole time I was complaining about how she did not give me any attention and that I wanted to be with her or talk to her and get to that point sooner rather then later but she was all resilient. And for that reason it began proving my point that since I wanted the attention I had gotten annoying to her and frustrated her by telling her things that were way too overly dramatic. By the end I had told her that I did not care and that when she wanted to hang out she could call me and I would stay out of her way until she got all of her shit straight. That was the brief turning point that really implied my success on the day besides having high numbers at work. She wrote me saying she wanted to hang out soon and that she still wanted to be friends and all that stuff and that we should see where it goes, basically saying she was interested yet again because I had decided to let it go and not give her that attention. But then I reversed it once more, I began doing the complaining thing again saying I wanted to be with her and that she was more then just some girl, which she kind of is I suppose, but emphasized it much more then just that. She again lost interest and that was the end of the day until I had the text saying "Why are you ignoring me?" I knew I would tell her what happened and why I did it for writing reasons and she seems fairly understanding so far.
Theory goes that women don't know what they want, and when they get what they think they wan then they want something completely opposite. Sitting at the bar today after work having some beers with the bartender that I know he was clearly upset that him and his girl were having problems. He was writing her novels for text messages expressing exactly how he feels about her and why he is the one she should be happy with. I gave him my advice in telling her to have her space and when she is ready she can come talk to you and go from there and leave it at that. About one hour after sending that message she was texting him back asking if he was over her for all of this and he simply replied "No.". A very simple answer for a girl who wanted yet another novel text message so she could have the upper hand. Putting it in a nutshell you can't give your all the the one who has you by the balls.
For my situation, I tend to play this one by ear. Spend time with this girl and have fun and let her see who I really am and one day it will work out for the best and she will see what a great guy I am and I will know about what kind of girl she is and like there was never a brief space in between it will work out. Most guys have this problem of going over the top for a girl when all she truly ever needs is the man to just be his own relaxed self and don't blow his top. Instead of buying her something everyday because you love her so much, just surprise her every so often just enough to the point where she knows you have her in your heart in mind all the time.
Ask for the men who have the opposite problems in which the girls drive them crazy. Their really is nothing we can do. Women were born with immaculate ear drums that seem to be able to block out men talking about something they enjoy or when we have the brief chance while they catch their breath to get in a word. It's truly incredible and may be able to be harnessed as a military weapon someday. Women don't understand that a guy wants a girl to just let him know he is important and she wants him around. Doesn't have to be all the time, but it is tiring when the guy makes all the effort to communicat with the girl all the time and has to make it work by himself, we are people not horses. The most comon solution is putting out and making a night out of it and just rocking his sheets until he sleeps through his alarm clock because he has no more energy after rocking your world the previous night. But outside of that there is nothing wrong with when he wakes up you are laying there with him and letting him know how much fun you had and that you care about him to the point that you would put yourself through such torturous pleasure that you enjoy for him.
I feel as if pitching this idea for my story will take more stories from the inards of a heart that is broken, mended, forever taken, and even six feet deep due to the extent of the misery that had happened. Not one person in this whole earth deserves to have someone they care about destroy their heart in the ways that I have seen before. Staying true to yourself and helping when you can with others which is your own way of life is all it takes. There is nothing more perfect in this world too me then a girl that I can enjoy having around all the time and whom I can be myself around and never have to change a thing unless I choose to do it myself. Everyone has a person out their who can do that for them and for those who suffer through times likes these there is still hope for you because their is plenty of fish in the sea. More to be added on a later time for this.
With Love, Steve.
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