Let Me Go Ahead And Set Things Straight.

Men for the most part in this damn country look for one fucking thing, which is a good lay. Things change and people mature and they get married and have children and do their own thing and completely forget about the life they had before hand.

I have forgotten about that life, I want something now.

May sound a little gay but going out every night and getting drunk off my ass and picking up random chicks gets old as you get old yourself. A club every now and then is fun but not all the time. I need something to change.

Varun had brought it to my attention that the thing I was looking for to solve this problem was indeed a girlfriend. Thinking about it now he is correct. I had met one girl in the last year and had dated her only after my Grandfather had passed away out of self misery, waste of my time. It has been a year and now looking forward, a girl is what I want and need.

I thought recently I had met someone who may have been on that level and seemingly interested in whatever I had to offer just outside of the fact that she thought I looked good. She was a very nice girl, great sense of humor, talkative and not the shy type that really irritates me, highly mature for being her age, extremely good looking. Seemed like something I could keep my eye on and see what would happen with the situation.

As it went on about a week of actually thinking about it and deciding that this is something I would like to work at, I had made the brutal mistake to myself of jumping into the deep end without a life jacket and getting swirled into this meaningless emotion that I really had no reason to have.

Just thinking about life in my future has always given me some sort of escape from the present reality of working all the time and doing whatever I do in my spare time. All the time just thinking about sitting in my own house with maybe a roommate or two and grilling some good on my barbecue outside on the porch while my friends are inside drinking a beer and watching the football game on Sunday's and Monday nights. Having my dog just sitting in the corner minding her own as I wash my truck in the front yard so it is shining. Life is perfect for me in the long run and I just have to get there to make sure that it can all happen for me which I have no doubt in my mind that it will.

But there has always been meaningless pieces added onto this imagination to try and fill the holes that I had always felt in it. But what was missing was not a material item or something money can buy. It was a girl, a girl that wanted to be cared for a respected and in return give the same back. Just someone who when I get home from work and she gets home from work or school or wherever she just wants to see me and spend some time. On a Friday night we don't have to go out all the time, we can just sit on the couch and get close and watch a movie and have fun with eachothers company. Someone who I can trust, who will go be her own person and goes out with her friends and who trusts me when I go hang out with my boys. Doesn't want to fight to get attention and can just be straight up with me on whatever is on her mind so that we can fix whatever is going on.

All in all...A girl just to call my own.

Seems like a legit girl such as that can't just walk right into your life anymore. Things get difficult especially for me. The fact that I want to start something and be able to be close to a girl and get to know her and she wants to get to know me is making it a little bit more difficult because all they ever want is to be putting men in the friend zone first.

Friend Zone is only achievable by people who have absolutly no interest in eachother at all. As many people that I have talked to about writing this book that I am trying to do. One of the top ways too know that something is not going to work is when the girls says "Let's just be friends and we will see what happens." Well I can already tell you the ending result maybe 9 out of 10 times for that one, and it's not going to be what you were hoping for. Everyone gives off a first impression that not even they can control that can officially alter the way the female is going to feel about you. It can be hair or eye color, tone of voice, the way your feet land when you walk. Stupid shit like that is what is always noticeable.

The hardest part about all this is that in the end, you have nobody to blame. Not even yourself. It is just a trick played on you to let you know that there is not one perfect person to exist and if your ego tells you differently then you should be banished to having to marry a obese women and have 6537826523 children with her who all eat just as much as her and don't leave you more then just a crumb.

When a guy comes around who has that swagger and that gift of himself that he wants to give to you then I urge you too look more into it. This isn't for me anymore, this is for every guy going through this. Respect what she wants, weather it be time or to be friends first and figure it out afterwards if it is something you truly need with her. There are plenty of good women out there for everyone. I sit here telling you this because if you truly do think you can make something work with a girl and want too see if it is something long term then you should be able to hold on unlike myself who had given in way too quickly for my own good.

Just let it all be now, end it all before something breaks and someone hurts themselves.

This will be an exact chapter in the book I write. Maybe one of the first couple because I feel this is a very important part to meeting a girl.

I am a horrible guy in this part, I can treat the girl with respect and be her best friend but the starting of the relationship and getting to know them and waiting for that day is what I struggle at.

Something that I will always remember my Grandfather preaching to me was will power.

The ability to restrain yourself from doing something that can harm you in the past, present, or future.

So therefore since it is something I have trouble possessing, The name if the chapter will be "Will Power".

Thanks for reading.

Girl who I send this too to read. Don't be offended or anything because like I say up there, it's me not you....Ironic that you hear that in movies a lot.

Anyways I need to figure this out and see what I can do to fix this problem and see if I am still worth this girl's time of day.

With Love, Steve.