About some time ago I was involved with a woman who I consider the last girl I had feelings for. I don't know what had come over me but after it had come to a terrible downfall I had begun discussions with her sister in an attempt to make her jealous. To make a long story short everything had fallen apart and I was left yet again left alone with nobody to call my own. It took many drunk nights and a few sober lonesome one's to make myself better off without the distress of a woman in my life. But now it is roughly coming back and making me feel like more of a fool then ever.
As I was laying down on my flower couch playing Madden 09 and thinking about how I can't stop fumbling the ball I had a quick revelation of the past. As my vision had blacked out for the instant I had spoken with my late Grandfather about the situation I had indulged with the woman in my life that had consumed my time and interest. Though deceased he had still given me productive advice on how to handle the situation. He had explained to me once before during his lifetime that no girl should be worth the effort who had not shown any compassion towards yourself. In other words, if she has her ex boyfriend over and does god knows what during every night you should not be waiting in line for something that you shouldn't have too. It is disgusting to think of someone breaking their back and making themselves available for someone who will completely take them for granted. I know I deserve someone who can establish themselves as a cornerstone in my life and not just someone who knows all the right buttons to push to get me in a frenzy.
As for Mark and the girl he has admired. I do believe he can do much better as well. Nieve as it is I think he knows what is going on but refuses to believe that she is not coming around anytime soon. She has lied and played games as far as I can tell this whole time and does whatever she can to avoid any affection towards him but yet will take advantage of the great things he has to offer. Ladies I am going to make a shout out to Mark, He is a great guy with a huge heart and needs someone who is willing to be taken care of step in to consume it. He doesn't need someone to make him jealous or bring there ex boyfriends over. He wants a girl to start fresh with and that can be themselves with him and treat him the way he deserves. If you are interested please contact me and let me know for the sake of finding someone you may be looking for.
As for me, I'm not sure anymore what I want to do. I chase and chase and chase and then follow and then chase some more but to no success. As corny as it may sound I believe that good things come to people who are patient. I must be patient to find a stability such as a strong woman in my life that I have yet to grab hold of. The last girl I had been involved with still has somewhat of a hold on me, more then I had though actually. As crazy as it sounds I wish things would go back and I would be able to have another chance and see what I could make of it and see if my instincts were correct and that she was something extremely special.
I'm going to be going back into the shop at Pep Boys, the place I used to work, at the end of the week and make small yet efficient living funds off of it. So Amazon will no longer be using my services all night. Life otherwise has been neutral and the testing day for border patrol keeps inching closer and closer and I can feel the day approaching when I get to leave to start my career. Makes me think about when the day comes how hard it will be to leave everything I know behind, friends, family, just everything in general. But I know after everything has gotten started I will see the worth of my decision.
As I played card games tonight with my buddies I had the slightest thought of how things were going back at home with my mother. She seemed distressed earlier today but I have no reason to believe their is. My sister seems to be doing very well and my brother-in-law is still working harder then ever. My other roommate Trever will be finding a new job soon hopefully unless he wants to move back home and be off the lease and do whatever it is he will do.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, But anyone can start today and make a new ending"-Maria Robinson.
The past had happened to you for a reason. Everything that has accumulated up until now has a point to it. Your prophecy in life has developed a sense of security in your life that you never can see because you feel broken by past mistakes. If at all you ever had the chance would you change something in your past knowing it could alter anything that has or will happen in your future? I do believe that people have made more then small mistakes in their past, but the only way to make yourself better and stronger is too learn from the mistakes you have already made and if you have never made them then you always have room for error in your judgment. Make the mistakes early so later on in life when you can really get in a lot of trouble you won't have to make those mistakes.
Thank you for reading.
With love. Steve.
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