With the utter destruction to the earth coming shortly I have managed to find myself still drinking aimlessly every night with groups of people I had just met or still don't know, or even people I had previously went to school with. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that I am a working man and have plenty of responsibilities, I tend to place getting hammered as one of the top priorities. but in any case it has grown on me and I have somewhat adopted being an alcoholic as a part of my lifestyle and otherwise would just be some drunk creep who hits on women with ridiculously forward pick-up lines. But on the outskirts of an alter reality I think we can all agree that a drunk Steve is a productive Steve.
About two nights ago or so I was sitting in Danny's apartment while we pounded some Fat Tire's and talked about stories of our past which is a usual routine. We had tried to get women to come over for some "Company" but to no avail. I watched his method of the familiar myspace pick-up and how he went about it opposed to myself. I, though very straight forward, am not anywhere near the level of forwardness that he brings to the table. It's so much more forward then me that it actually works more then when I do it because it catches them off guard by a long ways.
We were leaving the Little Nugget from downtown after devouring an Awful Awful and had seen three girls walking on the side of the road in the bright lights of Reno. Two of them had attractive features, most notabally the body, and the other had resembled Jack Frost the snowman. It could have been just another group of hot girls with the one fat friend but Danny could not let it sit that way. He had rolled down his window as we passed them and very clamly had said so they could hear "Ditch the blimb and come sit on our cock's." and that's when I had began laughing.
We stopped at the Gas Station to pick up yet another six pack of beer. There was yet another heavy set female parked next too us, but not as gorded as the one from before. Danny bought us some beer and had started walking back to the car and as we were backing out had told me to roll down the window and ask the women if she had ever been with two guys at the same time. I refused to do it. He told me to roll down the window and he would say it but before he could she had gotten in her car and closed the door. I always have my legal worries when with Danny. He always assumes the least of a penalty that we have no idea about but someday it's going to catch up with us. Unfortunatly for me, he is a much smarter person then me and most people I know, so chances are he will frame me for something that we did together and to make up for it he will buy me a couple beers.
When we got back to his apartment we decided to look at some Prostitute's on Craigs List. We looked for the most haggard looking older women on there and gave her a call, but not for us. We had called her to my friend Mikey's apartment and told her I was Mikey and that he was anxious. Mikey was with his new fuck buddy and several of our friends at the apartment so the hilariousness of this prank would be much more ammusing. She arrived at the apartment complex and knocked on the door and asked for Mikey and he was confused and everyone had known what happened after and began laughing. What I didn't think of though unfortunatly was that the Hooker would give my number to him to call and he would know the number from his cell phone. Burn on me right? I lied about my name and said I was someone else so that the Hooker would not know my name and after she left his door and explained that she just lost 175$ for that trip I had my histerical laugh.
Soon after I had a call back from the Prostitute but did not answer the call because I.....am a pussy and don't want some Pimp coming after me for dick slapping his Hoe.
I went to my friend Zach, Brennan, and Cam's house last night to have some more drinks. Yet again I picked up another six pack, this time of Heineken. We drank and I caught up with the kid's I have not seen from High School in a long time and had some laughs and listened to them rap battle eachother. We played Beer Pong for most of the night and most everyone was smoking either hookah or marijuana. One of my buddies had grabbed onto the keys of a girl at the party that just so happened to have pepper spray on the chain. He had thought it was a lighter and sprayed it into the air. about 15 seconds after that the room had been cleared out and people were outside coughing and wiping their eyes. I managed to be a man about it though and weathered the storm with Brennan.
After we established the retard who had sprayed the spray we began drinking once more and once more after that and kept going repetitavly in that order, story of my life. Quickly though the night had withered down and the girl's sister at the party who I have been talking to had attempted to be somewhat rude to me but lacked the ability to make me feel compasion towards myself. That was really the only attempted drama on the night that was smashed quickly.
Now I don't do this often but he is a reader of the Blog and had complimented me on the night about it so I had told him I would say a few words about my buddy Justin Burke. Justin is a highly touted young white rapper in Reno and has several songs that I myself enjoy listening too. He and his girlfriend were in the other room alone with eachother at around midnight or so. We all knew that some sexual activity must had been going on so instantly every guy in the room wanted to be a giant cock block and break in and lay with them. But my educated guess is that earlier that night they had heard Justin's lady bragging about the penis size of Justin and they had a bet going of who could put his weiner farther in their own asses. Not only that, but in the dark they wanted to know if their male ass hole's felt similar to that of a female vagina. My guess is that Justin would know the difference. The reason I seem to be praising Justin is because of the little jock strap he has accumulated on his face with his hair. I too sport the jock strap. Of course I'm kidding with the homosexual jokes towards all the other guy's who attempted the cock block.
Also while I'm feeling generous, it was nice to see Mista D at the party as well. Last time I had talked to him I had accidentally sent an emberrasing text message that was intended for a girl that I had wanted to come suck my dick. I justified myself by telling him that he could suck my dick if he would like too. Cody had backed me up in the sense of telling them how I had sent a message to a co-worker of his telling her to come sit on my cock. So I'm not entirely in the wrong here.
Well that has been the week so far. I'm sure I will party at that house again and be able to Blog some more and maybe this time actually find some bitches there that are worth the effort to hit on just to fuck (exclude the girl at the party I actually have been talking to.) for the night. Everyone have a happy and drunk New Year's.
With Love, Steve.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment